The law of attraction is really a very old concept, but nobody really thought much about it until a couple of popular books (“The Laws of Attraction” by Esther Hicks and “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne) reintroduced it to the world. So how do we meet men- a higher quality of men- using this concept? You have to change the way you think about yourself and the man you are looking to meet.
- creating a focus
- Self-talk or positive affirmations
- believing that you deserve it
- What is the law of attraction?
For those who may not know, the law of attraction is the belief that similar things are drawn to each other like magnets. Like attracts like-earth to earth and water to water. Similar energies seek each other out. Outgoing people seem to have the most friends, and loners seem to gravitate towards other loners. Besides that, there is Manifestation Magic that you can also try. You can check out the manifestation magic review here and see what it is all about.
What it is not
Many people who have read “The Secret” think it is all just about making positive affirmations. It does involve affirmations and self-talk but that is not all. It is not a miracle cure and it won’t work overnight. If you genuinely want to make a change you need to know that it will take some time, but the results are worth it.
It’s not about repeating some words. It is about changing your attitude, way of thinking, and expectations. People who want to be rich try this and say “it doesn’t work because I’m didn’t get rich”. No, but what did you think about today? Were you thinking about expanding your business, or buying a bigger house, or test-driving that new car you’ve been wanting? The answer most times, is no. They actually spent the day thinking about all the bills they have to pay, the rent payment, their kid’s doctor bills, how their health insurance is too high and the list goes on. This is the negativity mindset that keeps us broke, sick, and needy.
Do you see a pattern? Their attention is always on what they are lacking. The focus is on the negative. Plus you need to believe that what you want is actually attainable. So it stands to reason that if we are like magnets and attract similar energies, then we are actually attracting negativity. If we have a mentality of always getting less than we deserve, then that is what we will get and continue to wonder why it keeps happening. This principle can be applied to the area of relationships as well.
So how do we use the laws of attraction when it comes to relationships?
The two techniques I mentioned earlier involve visualization and neuro-linguistic programming or NLP. Visualization is basically the art of daydreaming or creating a focus. Linguistic programming like self-talk creates a connection between what the ear hears and is retained in the brain. Things we learn as children shape who we are as adults.
Take the example of training baby elephants. When the elephant is the young one of his legs is tied to a large post. After trying several times the elephant learns that escape is useless so it stops trying even after reaching adulthood. Our behavior and view of ourselves is shaped by things in our past; negativity, bullying and verbal or physical abuse make us feel unworthy or damaged and that is how we present ourselves to the world, so is it any wonder that we attract others who have low self-esteem or are selfish and closed-off?
The principles involved here can be applied to any area of a person’s life including relationships, personal wealth, and health, and well-being. It is an old idea but its application still works, if you do it right.
The first place to start is to sit down with a pad and pen and make a list of all the qualities you admire and want your guy to have. Be specific, don’t put down things you’re willing to put up with. Write it out as what your dream man would be like. Keep it simple and make it a relatively shortlist to keep a tight focus. Focus on what he might look like, visualization helps give your thoughts a focal point. Thoughts can become reality when enough energy is put into them. We call them thought-forms and they are indeed real.
1. Make a list of the traits you admire in other people (confidence, outgoing personality, self-reliance) that you would like to have in yourself.
2. Create a mental image of the person you want to be. Looks, personality, and style. It might help to borrow a few books from the library on building self-esteem or boosting confidence.
3. Spend 15 minutes every day visualizing what your new life might be like. What would it have been like to live one day as one of the popular girls in school? Give it as much detail as possible, think of like the type of daydreaming we used to do as children. Create a story and give it life.
4. Change the way you think and talk about yourself. What are your best features? What do people like about you? Make a list of your qualities and create positive statements about your strengths and weaknesses. Remember it is not just repeating words, linguistic programming is retraining the way you think.
So how does all of this help change your relationships? The more you focus on the positive, through visualization and self-talk, it gets into your heart and brain and you begin to believe it and that it is possible to attract the man of your dreams. These are the inward changes that happen first, and then what follows is the outward changes.
When you start thinking, feeling (and believing) that you are valuable, smart, and attractive (and any other positive traits), your outward behavior changes as well. You become a totally different person, someone who is confident and knows what they want out of life. This new you radiate different energy and you will see improvements in all areas of your life. You will start to become that cheerful, outgoing person who smiles and attracts all the good-looking men.