To Spy Or Not To Spy – Spying Is Not The Way To Get To Know Your Child

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Spying can be a dilemma for most parents. It may get you the answers you need, but then what do you do with those? Do you confront the child and risk ruining trust? Whether you know this or not, it’s more damaging than you think. You may be able to find answers the first time but later on, they won’t just be harder to find, you will be less a part of the child’s life. If you’re using spying to get to know your child, then you’re way off base. Nothing you find in their room will give you answers as accurate as talking to them. However, you’re not alone. Many parents have chosen to spy on their children and get positive results, but there’s always a better way. Regaining trust will not only give you answers, it will keep your relationship close and help them make wiser decisions. The spiare whatsapp is the application that helps in spying over the messages of cheating partner in the relationship. The  decision of the person should depend on the solutions of the spying application.

The Importance of Trust:

When you spy on your kids, you admit to not trusting them, and you admit to them not trusting you. It is important that you work on fortifying the trust that already exists before snooping around. If you are caught spying, or admit to spying, then the trust shatters no matter what the punishment. Most cases of spying happen when your child is in their teens and social interactions with their peers begin to peak. Parents feel threatened by this, and in response, begin to spy. The fear is mostly that things such as drugs, alcohol and sex may be their activities. However, many parents forget or are in disbelief that they still have a big influence on their teens. Listening and understanding are the best tools to gaining trust and finding that connection.

Be Honest:

I’m assuming that if spying is on the list the trust part isn’t working. What really helps your kids open up to you is sharing past experience. For example, if you were involved in the type of activities you’re afraid of them doing, say so. If they know that you were in their shoes once, they may feel more comfortable expressing it. You don’t have to glorify it but don’t condemn either. For all you know you might be condemning your teen. Talking about experiences will help humanize you. This may be scary because it takes you away from the pedestal of “parent,” but the older your children get, the healthier it is to do that. If this does get your child to open up, don’t react in anger. You won’t hear information like that again regardless of how much they may need you.

Explain Why You Need the Truth Correctly:

It’s necessary that you have a reason for wanting information so have your facts straight. When wanting to know what they’re doing, come from a helpful standpoint. For example, if your child wants to go to a party with friends, just ask them to check in with a text message every now and then and if something goes wrong you can be there to help. Teens believe that when they do something bad, they shouldn’t tell you. The problem with doing that or being right is they lose the one person who cares the most about their well-being regardless of the situation. Your kids need to know that if they are in a jam, they still have you in their corner, even if they disobeyed. Having good reason for your decisions and presenting it makes you authoritative. Being an authoritative makes your rules easier to respect with understanding. Teens that are given the response, “Because I said so,” are less likely to follow these orders.

Be the Parent:

Don’t think this means in anyway not to put your foot down. There should be punishments for anything after your talk and your explanations, but nothing for the damage already done. Thank your child for the information they have disclosed. It takes a lot of courage to go up those who expect so much from you and admit you may not be reaching that potential. Don’t hold on to past problems as well. If they don’t feel they can ever change your views on their past mistakes, they won’t try to. The issue of spying is the issue of trust. Fixing the trust will surely remove the need for spying.

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Carlo

About Post Author

Carlo

Carlo Ybarra is an entrepreneur, writer and photographer. He has been working for Pad Mare Sort Bali for 5 years and counting as the senior content editor.
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